I can't imagine that we were all put here for the single purpose of serving ourselves. There are 7 billion other souls roaming the earth, and often times I'm more focused on my chipped nail polish than the fact that we are moving around the world in orbit of each other, never actually getting to know or investing in anyone.
When was the last time you asked someone a genuine and honest question about them, something that would open up a little piece of who they are so that you may understand them just a little better? When was the last time you put yourself out there, shared a bit of your passion with another human being merely to connect?
To me, it's vital to put my energy into things bigger than myself. Even if it's just a little change, a slight alteration in my daily habit or attitude, I believe it's possible to alter the flow of time and space surrounding you, creating a butterfly effect that might just reach someone you'll never even meet. Some days that means being extra nice to a difficult person, saying thank you to the cashier and the kind person who held the door open, and expressing honest gratitude to those who are making sacrifices for me. Other days that means volunteering to be somewhere early so someone else doesn't have to. And even more, it can mean engaging with someone who looks distressed in line or actually doing service that will directly help improve the lives of others.
We were made for something more than just aimlessly wandering through space in our bodies, the shells that hold our souls. We were made, and I believe obligated, to leave things better than we found them.
Why do we prefer to stay glued to the screens of phones and sit with our headphones in than have a meaningful conversation with the real, live, human being sitting next to us? Take a moment and think about your life - the complicated ins and outs, the relationships you have and the preferences you have for television shows, movies, and significant others. That person next to you has a favorite food, a history of love and heart break, lessons learned, and pockets full of experiences. But we are never, ever going to know that unless we open up and start to engage with those who around us. Why is that so difficult?
Because connection requires vulnerability.
You must say or do something that has a consequence of which you are not aware. It's okay to be scared, I am every time I put myself out there, which is quite frequently. It's not that I lack fear, but I have the knowledge that the risk is worth it. Brene Brown calls us the "whole hearted." We make the first move, we tell jokes to strangers, we put our necks out there for humiliation, and we say "I love you" first.
When I love, I love hard. With me, it's either all or nothing, I can't half ass a relationship or pretend that I only sometimes care. That gets me into trouble, often times because my expectations are more than others are willing to give. And that's fine, being whole hearted means you can get burned or left behind, often I have been rejected. I know that I can be overwhelming. I just want to give you pieces of myself. But you know what? My emotions are intense and they are true. My heart has been broken, and I've put my faith in others perhaps more than I should have. My lows may be lower than if I guarded myself more, but the highs...they are unmatched. My joy is complete and without reservation. When my heart is full, it is heavy. Not with a tinge of sadness, but with an overflowing weight of love and wholeness. The highs soar above everything else in a manner that's impossible if you don't open yourself up to the full range of possibility.
Go talk to a stranger, or an acquaintance. Good grief, call up your best friend. Ask them to share a deep truth, to tell you about the time they felt the most sadness, but also when they felt the most joy. Find out what you mom's favorite color is, and what your sister's most memorable birthday gift ever was. Ask your grandfather what he was like as a teenager. And share yourself. Let someone in. Be vulnerable. Connect your soul with another, for there are few things quite so wonderful as the moment when you think to yourself, "Where have you been, all this time?". And sometimes the answer is, "Right here." The best potential for true, meaningful connection is often hiding in plain sight, if only we'd take the time to uncover it.
So give me the whole hearted, the occasionally broken and mangled, and I'll show you something beautiful.
