I'm 24 today. And while that by no means certifies me as an expert on life or qualified wisdom-giver, I've decided to share a few personal truths I keep in my things-you-should-remember-because-you-learned-the-hard-way bag.
1. No one actually has it all together, and if someone says they do you can be certain they're a Grade -A liar. Truth is, we are all just winging it. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Embrace the uncertainty, and stop comparing your beginning to someone else's middle. You were never intended to live out a duplicate life and it would be so boring if it all played out as we expected.
2. It's ok to ugly cry.
3. There will be days you need to put on your big girl panties and say "enough" and move on. Mourn and be done with it.
4. There is nothing more beautiful than two people who continue, day after day, to choose one another.
5. Ripping off band-aids still hurts.
6. You must always remember how to breathe. It will get you through nearly everything.
7. Be careful with your words. Once they've left your mouth, there are no take-backs.
8. You will be hurt by the people you love most. It's a fact. We are human, and therefore imperfect and prone to inflicting accidental pain. But grace and forgiveness are the best gifts we can give to one another.
9. You will hurt the people you love most. It's a fact. We are human, and therefore imperfect and prone to inflicting accidental pain. But grace and forgiveness are the best gifts we can give to one another, and often to ourselves.
10. Kindness still matters.
11. Honesty is the highest form of intimacy.
12. You need hobbies. Activities that bring you joy. If it brings happiness to someone along the way, fantastic. And if it just brings you pride and peace, that's more than enough, too.
13. You exist on purpose, for a purpose. You may not know yet what that purpose is, but the most important day of your life will be when you do.
14. People come into your life for seasons and reasons. Seasons can be long - years, even lifetimes. Or they can be short - weeks, days. So when the time comes to release, do it. Just as you were born to play special role in the history of mankind, so are all with whom you interact. For you have served an intentional and meaningful purpose in their lives as they have done for you. Not everyone is meant to be a forever friend.
15. Stop giving your heart to people who make you question your worth. There are many genuine, open, willing hearts out there - they want to be known, and to know you. I pray that you learn to let go of and walk away from those who do not choose you. You deserve a fighter in your corner, not a question mark.
16. You will suck at things, it's true. But you excel in others. Instead of focusing on the few things with which you struggle, invest in your talents and gifts. You will influence the world by honing your best skills as a power for good more so than dwelling on your weaknesses. You can't be the best at everything. So instead, be the best you.
17. Whatever you decide to jump into - a new job, a new relationship, a new place - be all in. Half-assed anything is not worth your time. Life is too precious and short not to be absolutely enthusiastic about the groove you've got going on.
18. Learning never stops. Read books - they are the gateway to new lands, scientific inquiry, and can seriously damage ignorance. Words have the power to change you unlike anything else.
19. Be brave. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
20. It's ok to still ask your mom how long to boil rice. Or eggs.
21. There is no shame in dancing in your room, by yourself (or really, with others) in your underwear.
22. Some things just need released into the void. You will not always get apologies. Your relationships will not always end cleanly. You will not always get to say the things you want to say. But that little tote bag you carry - of shame and guilt and heartache and anger and regrets - it is doing you no good. You must gracefully let go of what is not meant for you because the past is a wicked dictator if you let her be.
23. Some things you need to fight for. There will be moments where you may have to stand, often alone, and shout into the crowd. You will shake your fists and stomp your feet. There will come a time where you have to drag your friend or family member or even yourself away from the darkness. There will be dirt under your nails and scratches on your knees but I promise it will be worth it, because there are things in this existence worth all your passion. Find those things and people, and never never never give up.
24. Love is a verb. It is a commitment - a thoughtful, conscious effort. Do not search for someone to complete you, for you were created whole. Instead, embrace a complementary soul - one that fills your cracks and crevices and you theirs. A soul that encourages you to be the best version of yourself, without asking you to be someone else. And once you find a soul that grooves with yours, cherish it, for it is rare and it is most wonderful.
